Post your Funniest Tale of Seasickness/Gunnel-Hunching [Archive] - Spearboard.com - The World's Largest Spearfishing Diving Boating Social Media Forum

Dive4Blood

10-17-2002, 08:51 PM

Let's face it, guys are sick. There is no greater delight than watching your good buddy that you enjoy razzing and being razzed by, gripping the rail in 4'-6' seas having full pressure washer torrrents of "liquid laughter" emanating from every orifice above the waist. Fortunately in my 35 years of life, I have only been able to provide such amusement to my friends 3 times. Another cause for male-skewing humor is the subject of dropping a deuce on the high seas. All but the nicest sportfishers have adequate facilities. Combine that with the early departures our sport demands preventing divers from their regularily scheduled morning constitutionals on terra firma, and you have a recipe for mass hilarity. Here's a couple anecdotes among thousands I have to get the wheels spinning.

Seasickness- Dateline midwinter 2000 on the JR2 when a cold front rips through the MG mid trip . Capt Gene, normally a jovial and talkative fellow grows ever so silent after our traditional MG meal of Jolly Dogs, baked beans, and coleslaw. Suddenly he stands up and yells "green, coming through!" at the top of his lungs. Imagine a man the size of NFL offensive lineman running through a crowded cabin, and onto the deck in seas that make the boat feel like you're in a washing machine on spin cycle. I didn't know a man could have that much inside him. To this day "green coming through!" is the code phrase for seasick on the JR2. We love you, Gene!

Gunnel Hunching- Dateline 1996, a local trip on a center console out of Tarpon Springs with a couple guys from the Suncoast Seals. After a couple dives, one guy starts getting the urge to snap off some logs since he hammered some extra hot Hooters wings, and pitchers of Bud the night before. With no facilities even remotely available, it's neoprene around the ankles, and ass over the rail for a gunnel hunch. Now what proceeded was no mere gunnel hunch, but a backwoods Georgia, knock a buzzard off a gut wagon, hull spackling, tactical nuclear sphincter-bomb replete with powerhead like explosions emanating from my friend's sub-anal regions. After the ordeal was over we moved a mile north and marked a ledge where I and the other guy left the huncher topside to recoop. We each completed a successful dive, and came across each other on the jug line for the safety stop. After about a minute, my friend began wildly gesticulating towards the surface, and lo and behold above of us was a massive school of "finless brown trout" floating on the surface! The huncher friend topside subsequently swore up and down that this was absolutely not the end product of a second hunching. How this "intestinal driftwood" could have moved one nautical mile in less than an hour, and intersected our path a second time is yet again another unexplained mystery of the sea.

Let's hear them guys. A little levity to break up the negative vibes.

greyface

10-17-2002, 09:21 PM

ROTFLMAO!! I can't even begin to touch that masterpiece of gastronomical distress! We did have a Tortugas trip abbreviated because an old Itialian dude was so seasick, he DID actually turn green. I thought he was croaking before my eyes!:eek:

Reef Raider

10-17-2002, 09:52 PM

Some funny ****ing shit dude you really need to start a book.......

blue gun

10-17-2002, 10:08 PM

I got one. True story. me and 2 buddys went to barbados for 2 weeks to go surfing. we got there late at night found a cab bought a case of beer and started towards the far side of the island. 2 hrs later we found our shack ($175.00 for 2 weeks) on the beach. we were shit faced drinking rum on the plane and only eating some dried rat SHIT they served on then flight. After being there a few hrs we heard a knock at the door and there was this bob marley looking guy at the door with 3 coconuts. "I'v brought fresh coconuts for you man, only 2 dollars" Well my buddy snatched up on that deal and proceded to eat those nuts. chomp, chomp chomp. Well the next morning I awoke with a bead of sweat on my nose and about 16 house flies all over me. We had no water no food no beer. not shit. we had not seen where we were in the light and the night before there was no moon and no lights. all of a sudden i hear something sounded like this. Baaaaaoughoughghghg....tatatat......splattt...baaa aaaaaa. I said shit and got the video camera. look out my room window and I can see my buddy puking his brains out of the next window. i started shooting like oliver stone. then i notice through the view finder that the puke is going on top of a small tin roof and spilling on to the sidewalk. and as i pan down there are 3 goats just tearing that shit up. ones going baaaaaa baaaaaaaaaaaaa chomp chomp chomp lick lick lick........... So what i was hearing was the actual act of puking, hitting the tin roof, hitting the concrete and the goats having breakfast. and to top it off i focused a little and in the back ground was a pile of at least 350 coconuts leaning up against our shack. That bob marley guy sold us our own coconuts..

WELCOME TO BARBADOS

mad dog bite

10-17-2002, 10:21 PM

My best gunnel-hunch story was this past week on the JR2 I got up about 6 am to take a dump and spare my fellow steel slingers the unpleasant site of me hanging it over the side.While I was out there I figured I might as well throw a line in,so I put out a sardine on wire 15 feet from the boat I hook up to a 18-20 lb king get him in and immediatly do it again on a 20-22 lb king D4B hears the commotion gaffs mine and hooks up to another king and he's off to the bow.I put another sardine out 15 feet an AJ about 30 lbs slams it and im on his ass hard,over the rail in the pail done.I slip another sardine out and freeline it about 80-90 feet and bang a 9 lb mango so I get him in and figure the mango bite is on so I send a kingfish belly strip down and 30 seconds later Im hooked up to a 15 lb Gag over the rail in the pail.Sweating like a bastard I head back to the rack for a snooze before we really get going 90 pounds of fish in 50 minutes you gotta love the middle grounds and the JR2.IT WAS DEFINITLY A MAD DOG BITE

richhermes

10-17-2002, 10:27 PM

That is plain ass gross, blue gun!

That reminds me of this time I was on the Gigabite, I was on the flybridge and got seasick.
Picture G-queef playing the part of the goat.

http://www.gamers-forums.com/smilies/contrib/blackeye/lol.gif

Steel Shootin'

10-18-2002, 06:47 AM

Funny stuff. Men find "shit humor" funny, and women can't understand it. For example, I have three sons, and we watched Austin Power's 2 a bunch of times, and which line was the most funny in the movie: "First things first. Where's your shitter. I've got a turtle head poking out." We'd laugh about that, saying it around the house in the voice of Fat Bastard, leaving my wife to only shake her head at our perceived stupidity.

johnhermes

10-18-2002, 07:42 AM

Scott,

You ought to be able to write a damn book on seasickness!!:p

Steel Shootin'

10-18-2002, 08:13 AM

Originally posted by johnhermes
Scott,

You ought to be able to write a damn book on seasickness!!:p

I'm not saying anything. What the hell would I know about seasickness?

(Those were some big ass seas. Give a brother a break! Besides, I wouldn't have had all those Hooters wings and beer had I known I was in for an ass-kicking!):D

inletsurf

10-18-2002, 08:26 AM

Has anyone had it so bad that they were puking and hanging ass over the gunnel because of some shitty well liquor the night before? Talk about confusion....

Classic story blue gun...:)

richhermes

10-18-2002, 08:49 AM

Let's not get into personal ailments John. (wink, wink)

Reef Raider

10-18-2002, 06:53 PM

This was about 20 yrs ago we where in key west . Went out to do some free diving on a party boat and there was these real prepy people (who knows it could have been the G-cunt)that acted like they were to good for anyone and we had these hindo people with thier 1 daughter. The boat was giving free drinks to every one and this little hindo girl was acting like she would never get to drink cola the rest of her life who knows maybe she never had it before in her life . but anyway I'am sitting there watching her drink this shit down like a fish . After a while the wind picks up it gets bumpy we are heading back in and I look at the girl and she is green and I mean GREEN I tell my wife we have to move right now to the bow and no sooner do we set foot on the bow then I turn to see this galutin little bitch open her mouth and shoot a gallon of cola all over the prepy people. We where out of fresh water they had to rinse off with raw water I 'am not sure what she ate that day but the prepy people sure smelled bad after that!!!!!!

f94gator

10-18-2002, 10:10 PM

"Green, coming through" ?

Wow, I think that saying's going to stick! I love it!

dlock

10-18-2002, 10:47 PM

green comin' thr..ahhhghttp://www.atypically.net/smilies/vomit.gif

dlock

10-18-2002, 10:54 PM

something I learned a long time ago is the best cure for someone that is seasick is to get them in the water. My 10 year old daughter sometimes gets a little green when the waves kick up and we bail over the side and swim around and within 5 /10 minutes she is doing cannonballs off the back of my boat and then is ready to start fishin' again. I've suggested it to a few people that I've been around who got sick while out in the boat and at first they look at you like you're nuts but once they are in the water they will thank you for sure!!!!

Diver Dan

10-19-2002, 08:08 AM

A couple years back we were heading out to do some diving and the call of nature took over for my dive partner. As he's hangin off the dive platform putting the brown finless fish into the water this seagull flies up and starts hitting the finless fish like a school of bait. My dive partner looks at the bird, looks back at me and says, "Hmm, must be the stromboli"!

richhermes

10-19-2002, 02:39 PM

Fat Bastard: First things first: WHERE'S YOUR SHITTER?! I've got a turtle-head poking out!
Dr. Evil: Charming
Fat Bastard: I'm not kiddin'. I've got a crap on deck that could choke a donkey! Aww, it's SQUIDGY!!! Christ, I'm gettin' all emotional from it, ya know?

dlock

10-19-2002, 03:35 PM

That is the funniest movie Myers has ever done!! Have you seen the newest one? I haven't seen it yet,waiting for it to come out on disc...I guess.

Steel Shootin'

10-19-2002, 08:57 PM

Rich, yes, that the exchange. Women just can't see the humor in that.

johnhermes

10-19-2002, 09:23 PM

You know, its funny, my boys are very young, but you can tell, they have it in them. Jack, my 3 year old, will walk around the house farting, and every time he farts, he announces it like the Queen of England just walked into the room. Myself, and Joey (the 1 year old) laugh our ass off, and my wife just does not get it. WOMEN!!!!

f94gator

10-19-2002, 09:27 PM

Ay, that was a wet one!!

dive4food

10-20-2002, 11:10 AM

While hunting off of Marathon Key, my dive buddy and his girlfriend start getting pretty green. They decided to stay on top while I went down for a quick peak. The seas were starting to build as the wind kicked up from a front moving though. I couldn't convince them that they would feel better in the water, so over the side I go. Wouldn't you know it, there's a ton of shooters down there. I figure that since this was probably going to be the only and last dive of the day, I start loading up the stringer. As I work my way back to the jug line, I can see fish swarming around the back of the boat, my friends putting out the breakfast chum. Appearantly Mr. Grouper wanted to see what was going on too. Well, my shot was a little back and I ended up gut shooting him. When I finally got back up on the boat, I found both of them lying on the front deck looking green as can be. My buddy barely gets out a, "How did you do?" The winds shifted around at that moment and the gut shot grouper's smell wafted to the front of the boat. I know it was no more then .3 seconds later that the two of them were puking in unison off the bow. I laughed as I said, "Awww, isn't that cute! The couple that pukes together, stays together." Now anyone that gets seasick receives an " Awww, isn't that cute" from the entire crowd.

Steel Shootin'

10-20-2002, 11:34 AM

D4F, LOL! Man, there is nothing worse then seasickness.

I'll come out of the closet and admit that I get seasick. I am not especially prone to it, but if the seas kick up to 3ft or better, it can be a problem for me. John's busting my ass because I threw up with him and D4B every damn trip for a month. We couldn't buy a calm day, and sure as hell I'd be barfing either on the boat, or in the surf.

If you're at all prone to seasickness, diving is worse than fishing, because on the boat you become more task oriented and take your eyes off the horizon. It normally strikes when you're in your dive bag, or hooking up a bc or reg. Getting in the water, down to depth, provides relief.

Anyway, after getting sick that many times, I decided I was going to find a way to prevent it. Here is what I did, and I have not been seasick since, even on rough days:

1. No beer the night before a dive trip (probably not a bad rule anyway);
2. Dramamine, 50mg the night before the trip, at bed time;
3. The morning of the trip, while en route to the diving grounds, if I sense it's going to be rough, I take 25mg of Dramamine chewable and tuck it inside my bottom lip, like you would a pinch of skoal. It allows for quicker absorption into the blood stream.

That's it. The system came from consulting with others who have been seasick for years, and from reading everything I could get my hands on. I adapted the system with the chewable for maximum prevention. Not trying to practice medicine without a license, or prescribe anything, just telling you it works like a charm for me.

One other thing I should point out, Dramamine is very drying, which can be a problem breathing the dry air when diving. You need to hydrate yourself very well to prevent lung or mouth irritation.

Dramamine does not make me drowsy, but it does some people. Obviously, if it sends you to "la-la land", don't dive.

richhermes

10-20-2002, 01:48 PM

I admire a person that is a die hard fisher like Scott that has sea sick tendencies and still gives it hell.

Lesser folks with weak stomachs would remain on shore!

Steel Shootin'

10-20-2002, 02:15 PM

Thanks, I think. It looked like a compliment until I read the part about having a "weak stomach." LOL

Seasickness is embarrasing as hell. And there's no mercy amogst the group that I hunt with. If they see the slightest hint of pallor in your skin tone, they'll ask if you'd like a "scab sandwich with some homemade puss dressing."

richhermes

10-20-2002, 02:51 PM

Actually that was a compliment. Some people would just say "Screw It, I'm staying on shore!"

f94gator

10-20-2002, 03:32 PM

Compliments? What's up with that?!? I'm sensing too much love in this room!!

Scott, you're a pussy!!!!:D

Steel Shootin'

10-20-2002, 04:06 PM

LMAO. See, you come clean, admit a flaw in order to perhaps help someone else, and you get this. :D

inletsurf

10-20-2002, 07:34 PM

John,

You're right, there's nothing that a woman will bitch at more than a boy ripping one in front of his old man in search of the "honor" bestowed upon a son by the father.

One time my 3 1/2 yr old (back when he was about 3 or so) went up to his mom and "buttercupped" her (you know, "palm bomb", farting in your hand then holding it to someone's nose) She went ballistic, tho. Brought tears to my eyes seeing that boy's smile light up like that.... :D :D :p

dlock

10-21-2002, 08:58 AM

http://www.emotipad.com/emoticons/ROTFLMAO.gif...that's funny as hell...http://www.emotipad.com/emoticons/ROTFLMAO.gif
my daughters rip'em all the time and I can't help but bust out laughing and my wife says..."that's why they keep doin' it",but I can't help it FARTS ARE FUNNY!!!!

dlock

10-21-2002, 09:28 AM

BTW Scott, I was just reading in one of my dive magazines that "ginger" is very effective in curing and preventing seasickness. They were using ginger capsules and said that they heard the Navy and NASA have been using it for years.

Steel Shootin'

10-21-2002, 09:46 AM

dlock, I read all about ginger, but, to be honest, I never tried it. The Navy's first line of defense against seasickness is scopolomine (sp?). I tried the trans-scop (the patch), but didn't like the side effects. I think I will try ginger, because it wouldn't be as drying as dramamine.

Fortunately, it's not a big problem for me anyway. It only occurs usually in 4's or better. I try to avoid those days on the water anyway, cause the pounding is no fun.

f94gator

10-21-2002, 10:14 AM

I've always been a Maryann kind of guy myself ... Ba dum bum. :D

Steel Shootin'

10-21-2002, 11:19 AM

Ah yes, the Mary Ann vs. Ginger Debate. You should start a thread on that one. :D

dlock

10-21-2002, 11:31 AM

no need for a debate, I'd take 'em both at the same timehttp://www.atypically.net/smilies/skeezy.gif

Brad B

10-22-2002, 08:36 AM

I guess I will have to chime in here. Imagine a small headboat heading out of Sebastian for a nite mango trip.Solid 6 to 8 and everyone is crammed in the too small cabin cause its to wet to be outside. Lots of people looking a little green. A guy who just spent all day mating on a Port Canveral headboat for some reason I will never know pulls off his white fishing boots. A stench from the very bowels of Hell fills the cabin. It was so bad I can't even describe it. He then reaches into the boot and, I kid you not, pulls a whole squid out of it. Everyone in the cabin exploded out to the railing. The rest of the night was spent judging each contestants puking abilities on such factors as distance, content, color and sound. I think the winner was the guy fishing next to me who let go with about a 10' arcing projectile heave consisting of about a half gallon of red Gatorade.

inletsurf

10-22-2002, 07:23 PM

heh heh heh

sweet

Diver Dan

10-22-2002, 09:54 PM

When you are really heaving your guts out and you look down and see this hairy thing that you can't figure out what it is, it's your asshole!

Dive4Blood

03-02-2004, 07:14 AM

You sick m-fers :D :D . I said post your funniest tale of seasickness and gunnel hunching not tail (as in ass, namely mine). Jesus, a step by step picture tutorial on releasing the turtle? I'm lucky I did not get turned to stone, or a pillar of salt after seeing the abomination of a gunnel hunching FA.

Just like the favorite government agency of the Hermes Brothers, the FCC, Gunnel Huncing 101 had to be censored in full Clear Channel fashion.
You know, it was merely a business decision, and of course children may be watching :rolleyes:. Gunnel hunching pictures have run their course!!

AJ

Spearchucker

03-02-2004, 07:20 AM

It will be back up tonight, on a post you can't edit :)

fernandezh

03-02-2004, 09:18 AM

Here are mine.

Once in College (mind you I went to an all male school), I walk into the community bathroom to see a cadet laying unconscious on the floor with a big cut on his forehead and blood pouring out out of the gash over his eye, and he had his pants around his ankles. The first thing that came to my mind was that he had been beaten over the head and was raped. I freaked out. I ran out and called 911. The police and EMT's came over and evac'd him out of there. The police were questioning me and I guess they might have suspected it was me who did it. But thank God I had an alibi because I had just been talking with my 2 roommates when I left to go to the bathroom and I was back in like 15 seconds freaking out. At the hospital, they checked this guy's rectum for signs of trauma or semen. When he woke up the "victim" gave his side of the story: He said that he had been out drinking that night. In fact, he had been pretty messed up drunk. He went back to the barracks and was sitting on the toilet taking a dump, when suddenly he had the urge to puke, so he got up with his pants still around his ankles, started to shuffle across the bathroom to the urinal to puke in it. But before he got there, he tripped over his belt, fell, and bashed his head against the lip of the pisser and knocked himself out.

SPEARIT

03-02-2004, 09:24 AM

and you wonder why the Citadel guys are called "The Lords of Discipline"

junior

03-02-2004, 09:17 PM

An instructor I know had a student that would get the sh*ts instead of puking when she got seasick. That's really got to suck.

A good drunken night followed up with lack of sleep, a big ass mug of coffee with a couple of sausage, egg and cheese McMuffins will get me green on the calmest of days;) It's nothing a few dramamines won't cure though.

bgbill

03-02-2004, 10:20 PM

I have never been sea sick, but I have been close.

Once on a trip to the keys several years ago, I was on a trip put on by Walt Ellis, unfortunately he dosen't do the trips anymore, they were a lot of fun. He is a professor at HCC, so there were always a bunch of college students on his trips, I likes the young nubile college chick's, at least I did before I got married again.

Anyway, I was the "safety Diver" more like baby sitter, there was a young guy, I can't remember his name, his last name was like Seriff or something like that, he was a new diver, we were heading out and he was siiting right next to me, one of the girls went to the head and puked, the smell then went through the boat and then he pukes, unfortunately he did not know to go over the rail or go to the back of the boat, he turns his head to the rear and lets it rip, he was sitting towards the front of the boat just under the hardtop, well with momentum and wind it goes all over the guys in the back and all in their rigs and gear. I was surprised he did not get his ass kicked over this, a few of the guys that took the puke shower were the biker type guys with tats and stuff and pretty big boys. So we get to the dive site and we dive, I get paired with him and some other newbies, after about 10 minutes or less in the water he gets ill and I have to take him back to the boat, So i start dragging him back to the boat on the surface doing the tired diver tow, about half way to the boat he decides to flip over face down and start sight seeing, and is too lazy to even attempt to kick a fin, I get him to the boat and he says "that wasn't too bad, was it?" I said not until your lazy ass started too sight see. Luckily he bagged the second dive.

Well I was supposed to only have double occupancy, but I got stuck with 3 other guys that night and one of them was Seriff, he gets ready for bed as we are getting ready to go out and party, he goes in and changes to long sleeve long pants silk pajamas, so the other 2 guys in the room that were with me started to call him jammies, well I got back pretty late that night, and passed out, I mean went too sleep. The next morning we get up and go to breakfast and jammies ask me what he should eat so that he would not get sea sick, I told to eat a lot of bacon, eggs, green pepper, red peppers and anything else real colorful so that when he did blow chow it would be volumous and colorful, I also stayed up wind from him.

It was a great trip, no spear fishing, but a lot of the girls were not shy about getting naked on the boat and elsewhere,We would pull along side of another boat and they would get mooned. I almost fell out of the boat trying to get a better view of the girls, did I mention they were young nubile college chicks?

That baot had the most alcholic beverages on it that I ever saw, and we were only going out for 1/2 day trips, I like that though, lots of alcohol and young college girls.

Like I said I have never been sea sick yet, and I do make fun of people when they are chumming, I know one day it will happen to me, hopefully it will be on my boat, because when the capt. gets sick the show will most likley be over.

bgbill

03-02-2004, 11:01 PM

Originally posted by Bucket One
Sound's like one of my key's trip's several year's ago. Except my buddy had his girlfriend come down with some of her friend's. Oh ya they were all stripper's. While we were lobstering and spearing fish they would lay out on the boat totally nude to get some sun. I shot more grunt's then you could imagine just so I could get back in the boat to put my fish in the cooler. What a site. Later in the week I got to use my TICKLE STICK. The only thing that sucked is that they wanted to party all night and wanted you to stay up all night with them while they slept on the boat the next day. I love to party as much as the next person but I love to spear fish and lobster also. I had to take a week of vacation just to recope from a vaction. A spearfishing trip I will never forget.

Well I like to spear fish a lot also, but young naked chick's is where its at, I would like to get some strippers on my boat, but my wife would kick my ass if she found out or do a Lorena Bobbit on me.

Mobile Diver

03-02-2004, 11:42 PM

We were over at the Cay Sal Bank Aug of 2002. My brother has a slight constipation problem & hadn't (EDIT) sh*t in 3 days. Our friend Bill gets to the hang bar after a dive in crystal clear water to look up & see a skinny ass on the dive ladder discharging a 6 foot stream of brown. An image he a great deal of trouble shaking. My other brother had to use the raw water washdown to move it away from the boat (no current at all).

3 Shots 1 Kill

03-03-2004, 07:17 PM

Okay, the Dago is going to laugh his ass off! I was about 8 miles out with 3 other buddies who never get sick. We were having a tough time finding our spot, and the rolling around made me green. I am a total bitch when it comes to being a chucker. I was puking over the side when I saw a big greenish-brown chunk floating in the middle of my deposit. I figured that was about the largest of all my numerous tosses when I realized it was moving. It was a baby sea turtle that just got an acid bath! It would have been really cool to see up close if Iwas not sick.:)

dagodiver

03-03-2004, 08:17 PM

Originally posted by Scott
dlock, I read all about ginger, but, to be honest, I never tried it. The Navy's first line of defense against seasickness is scopolomine (sp?). I tried the trans-scop (the patch), but didn't like the side effects. I think I will try ginger, because it wouldn't be as drying as dramamine.

Scott,
I was just reading in a Dive mag about a scop pill now that
is supposed to be effective for about 8-hours instead of 3-4 day's
like the patch and also have less side affects, beside
those patches taste like sh*t and are hard to chew.:D :D
Dago

dagodiver

03-03-2004, 08:20 PM

Originally posted by 3 Shots 1 Kill
Okay, the Dago is going to laugh his ass off! I was about 8 miles out with 3 other buddies who never get sick. We were having a tough time finding our spot, and the rolling around made me green. I am a total bitch when it comes to being a chucker. I was puking over the side when I saw a big greenish-brown chunk floating in the middle of my deposit. I figured that was about the largest of all my numerous tosses when I realized it was moving. It was a baby sea turtle that just got an acid bath! It would have been really cool to see up close if Iwas not sick.:)

This poor 1 in a million turtle makes it 8 miles offshore
avoiding racoons, seagulls and God nows every fish
in the ocean then 3shots pukes on him.
Way to funny.
Dago

Ed Walker

03-06-2004, 10:32 AM

1. My funniest was paddling out into the line-up (surfing) south of Sebastian Inlet and having nature call. There was like 30 guys lined up in the inside and most were down current. I swam down to the bottom of my leashes' extension and released the mudsnake. I sat out there cracking up as it floated down thru the whole line-up. Heh heh ah the memories....

2. This one was told to me by two guys I had out on a charter but it still makes me laugh. They were out on a party boat and happened to be fishing right by the head. Some guy when in there and "utilized the facilities". Shortly thereafter the two guys noticed an offshore brown trout sliding out from below the boat. As they pointed at it laughing a big cobia comes out from under the boat...and slurps it up.

Marcus

08-16-2006, 08:34 PM

...ahhh the memories.

KJNDIVER

08-16-2006, 08:46 PM

While I enjoyed this trip down memory lane, WTF is the deal, does this thread get automatically called up from the depths every two years? :scratch:

wreckchick

08-16-2006, 09:46 PM

Ok, I have to add mine (I know it's a old thread, but I'm new here, gimme a break)...

I used to work on one of the 45' Corinthian cats as a divemaster so I literally have a thousand stories but this one is still my fav....

A husband and wife are out snorkeling in relatively benign seas when the wife comes hightailing back toward to boat with her husband hot on her heels. She gets halfway up the ladder when she turns her head to produce a fantastic technicolor rainbow. Right about that time the husband is swimming up beside the ladder (the wrong side) to see what's going on so the wife barfs on his head, down his snorkel (still in his mouth), manages to chuck in her own snorkel and even did a little through-the-nose action into the mask. I would have been disgusted if it wasn't so funny.

My second fav is the guy that came lurching from the center of the boat and managed to spray 3 complete sets of scuba gear while their owners were back getting something to eat. Didn't really want to go alert them to the situation AT ALL, but they were pretty cool about it.

Rachel

Dive4Blood

08-17-2006, 05:55 AM

WTF? Who pulled this out of the casket?

Ironhed

08-17-2006, 07:09 AM

who knows who brought this back from the dead but I might as well post this funny pic up of my good pal gradyman in action. not sure what he ate but it really brought in the bugzillas that day. seems all threads are useless without at least one picture in them so here it is.

Red Tide

08-17-2006, 07:14 AM

How apropos is this thread as I read and chuckle??????????..............Last night was the SPUC's final meeting before the Saint Pete Open Tournament this weekend. Before the meeting El Duke, Decoman and myself met at the Red Tide Hall of Fame Headquaters to view one of my newest acquisitions, a 68 inch Jordan Hamilton custom made Tuna Gun.
Enter Alcohol......Rock Star and Vodka was the early drink of choice. After a few large Red Tide plastic cups were consumed we stumbled to the local sushi resturant for a sampling of the $1.00 sushi specials offered on Wednesdays. Enter Saki...........a gallon or so later we finished our meal and headed to the SPUC meeting being held at the newley renovated Spanky's bar and Grill. Upon arrival we noticed that the parking lot was full. The room where the meeting was being held was jamed packed full of club members 50 or so and the Beer was flowing along with all of the stories from years gone by. Knowing what I know about my body and the effects of mixing yet another beverage to the punch bowl, I decided to switch to water. As I looked across the room, I noticed El Duke pounding the beers. Every time I looked his way, all I could see was the bottom of the beer mug, and all I could hear was his his laugh above the roar of 50 drunken SPUCs. After a couple of hours it was time to go "1:00 AM on a school night" My self and Decoman persuaded the word sluring, gravity defying El Duke to hand over the keys to his car. I volunteered to drive back to Red Tide HQ and let El Duke sleep it off.
NOW THE FUN BEGINS: As we pulled away from the bar El Duke says "Open D Vindow" in his drunken Bosnian accent.........I could hear the rumbling in his stomach as we were going over a speed bump. I removed the child window lock and lowered the rear window on his company car. Decoman and my self were howling at El Duke's misfortune. All the way home he was projectile vomiting out the rear window down the starboard side of the car. But wait there is more. To drown out the sounds of El Duke's pain I turned up the radio and drove around the alleys and back streets of my neighborhood listening to a Johnny Cash CD "Cry Cry Cry" (Full volume). Decoman and myself were laughing so hard my stomach muscles feel like I did 200 sit ups. When I thought El Duke was done spuing the nights libations all over my neighborhood I pulled up to my house and we put him in the spare bedroom. I then remember Decoman saying "Get a bucket" I put a bucket and some paper towels next to El Duke, put the cieling fan on high and closed the door. Decoman was good to drive and he headed out the door laughing at the nights maylay. We were standing in the front yard with the door closed when all of the sudden we heard that familiar roar comming from inside the house. Decoman said good luck and chuckled as he drove away.
All though this reply does not technically qualify as a gunnel hunch or sea sickness it certainly has a place in the pages of Spearboard :beer: :beer:

kaborkian

08-17-2006, 08:37 AM

Cats can provide some fun.

Divers 1 and 2 return to boat. Divers 3 and 4 prep and roll. Diver 1 informs diver 2 that he's about due for a constitutional. He waits until he sees bubbles from a safety stop, and slides into the water just in front of the cat, between the hulls. A minute or so later, divers 3 and 4 are at the ladder. Diver 2 (me) of course informs 3 and 4 that they are swimming with the "boys". Pretty damned funny when 4 had to actually backpedal a little so he could focus on what was floating next to his mask...

Mobile Diver

08-17-2006, 12:38 PM

RichT

08-17-2006, 09:28 PM

Christof

08-19-2006, 04:55 AM

Seasickness

When I was about 10, my Dad, brother, Dad's best friend Jerry, and I took off from home to go to Westport Washington to fish for Salmon offshore... Along the way, we stopped at a cafe for breakfast (mistake #1)... I of course ordered Belgian waffles with lots of strawberries and whipped cream, and a side of scrambled eggs and bacon... (mistake #2)

We get launched at Westport and head out to wonderful 8-10 ft swells and begin trolling..... I wasnt but a tad quesy, but suddenly felt the urge to rid myself of last nights speghetti dinner, or at least some of it... As I go down below to the porta-potti, I made it as far as sitting down when all of a sudden the cabin began spinning and I knew I was about to throw up my very bowels... I jump up and run up the 3 steps to the deck with my pants around my ankles, fall flat on my face, and begin spraying the deck with what looked like chunks of my guts complete with blood (strawberries, remember?)..... My Dad, never known for a strong stomach, suddenly lunges for the rail and begins screaming "Raaaaaaaaaallllppph" and on the third call out to his buddy Ralph, he blows his dentures out into the chumline, forever lost to the great God Neptune. Then his buddy Jerry starts hurling off the other side, which got my dad puking even harder....All the while my brother keeps right on fishing.. Even though I was green as seaweed, I nearly broke out laughing my ass off (always wished for Dad to get his.. LOL).... I never will forget that, and he sure never let me..... I still smile when I think of that....

Gunnel Hunch

Okay, not a true gunnel hunch story, but funny just the same....
My wife and I were honeymooning on Maui and drove to the "Seven Sacred Pools" one day... Along the way we stopped at one of the little fruit shacks that are found all over Hawaii, and bought a green coconut to drink the milk.... Well, unbeknownst to me at the time, green coconut milk is a great laxative.... So we get up to the seven pools, and hike up to the top pool.... I just have to take a swim in the holy pool, just to say I had, and suddenly I have the urge to crap unlike any other time in my life... Where do I go, what do I do??? I am at least a 1/4 mile from the parking/restroom area, and I know if I try to get out and find some bushes I will shiot myself... No problem, I'll just drop my pants and no one will be the wiser... yeah, right.... I let loose and this thing is not only about 14 inches long BUT FRIGGIN FLOATS !!
Oh man, what do I do now???? So I quickly kick away from it, hoping the creature will sink somehow and swim over to where my lovely wife is standing in knee deep water waiting for me... As I get close to her, suddenly here comes a family from the trail and they enter the water.... I tell my wife "we have to get out of here" to which she says "whats the hurry honey?".... I told her "I really have to go" so she says "Okay"... As we are hiking down the trail, we hear somebody yell "Oh my god, someone shit in the water, look at the size of that... GROSS!"
My wife looks at me, and although I am trying to look as innocent as possible, says "Oh Christof, tell me you didnt".... I was so embarrassed.....
I just hope the Hawaiian Gods understood.....

Christof

chasintail

08-19-2006, 10:07 AM

I told her "I really have to go" so she says "Okay"... As we are hiking down the trail, we hear somebody yell "Oh my god, someone shit in the water, look at the size of that... GROSS!"

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: I nearly gunnel hunched in my office chair. :lol: :lol: :lol:

chasintail

08-19-2006, 10:33 AM

I never get seasick.Hungover,nasty seas,dosn't matter.I get great pleasure in talking to a vomit stricken crew member while eating and chewing with my mouth open. :D The best of gunnel hunch story threw two seasons vets into explosive spewing on a flat calm day.

The night before,the dive was discussed over 911 Hooters hot wings and pitchers.They young scantly clad ladies finally made us leave about 1 am.I got up at 5 am and found victim #1 passed out on my couch.Went to the spare bed room and found victim #2 passed out on the floor next to the bed. :scratch:
When finally launched the boat it was 7:30.Tied up to the first rig jumped in shot a few magos and a nice cobia.Mr cobia tangled up all my gear so I got back on the boat to sort it out.The other 2 guys also got in to have an early lunch.(Roast beef sandwiches).I called to untie and the boat floated stern first into the wind.
Then it HAPPENED.A horrible rumbling came from within my bowels.My crews faces turned white as stone as I tore off my wetsuit and headed for the transom.The next few moments where some of the most painfull I have ever known.Liquid hot magma flowed from within my tortured bowels. :eek: Tears flowed for my eyes like the mighty Mississippi.Thru my screams I could hear my crew begin to vomit violently as the wind carried the wretched aroma. :D
I started to laugh so hard it made the hunch inconsistent.It was like my ass was laughing with me.phht,phht,phht,phht.This caused extreme laughter and more vomiting from the bow.When the rectal torture subside I tore the fish box open and sat on a block of ice to dull the pain.

bug_power

08-19-2006, 11:07 AM

When the rectal torture subside I tore the fish box open and sat on a block of ice to dull the pain.
Remind me if we ever hunt together NEVER to put my fish in your fish box! LOL :lol:

Christof

08-19-2006, 08:47 PM

OMG Nick, I am laughing so hard right now.... I can visualize the "ass laughing" part and that would make me laugh even if between hurling overboad.... You're lucky that neither one aspirated their vomit laughing at you.... Funny as hell.....

Christof

SoCal Fisher

08-27-2006, 08:22 PM

Ouch. My stomach hurts.
Ok, My brother and I are freediving along an Arkansas shoreline when I realize I had "a round in the chamber". Luckily the water was warm and I was wearing my surf shorts. So I drop down to about 15 ft and get down to business. The perfect crime! So afterwards we are hunting side by side and my bro nearly bumps into mr. brown trout and freaks out. Sorry bro, I didn't realize there was a current in this lake. It seemed that no matter how fast we swam, we couldn't get away from it, so we just pulled anchor and moved. It didn't matter. I couldn't hunt anymore anyway. I was laughing too hard.

SoCal Fisher

08-27-2006, 08:26 PM

You know one thing about diving in California that sucks is when you are having a good time and you have to pinch one, but you're wearing a 5mm two-piece dive suit. There just isn't an easy solution. I've had dives ruined due to that.

Im1chunkymunky

08-27-2006, 08:38 PM

i didnt eat any corn!!

greg1

08-30-2006, 10:37 AM

I get seasick everytime I go out drinking the night before. As Charlestondiving can attest, I tend to over imbibe. Maybe that's the New Orleans in me or maybe I'm just a problem drinker. Who gives a shit, its fun. My puke stories aren't really that funny. They just come and go.

As for gunnel hunching I've only done it once. On the Midnight Lump on a Saturday. We boiled crawfish and drank about 6,000 beers the night before. Had Hubig's pie for breakfast.

Nice 1-2' seas and about 120 boats anchored within spitting distance.

I had to pick a side. There were 30 boats to Port and 35 boats to Starboard. So I went Port. At first the other boats started cheering and raising their beers. They thought I was just mooning them. One guy even mooned me back. Then I just started crushing yams into the sea. All I remember was hearing the cheers turn to guffaws and maybe even a few not so subtle curses.

I never got a final head count on how many women and children were on the lump that day, but for those that were there it was not an event soon to be forgot.

Redneck7

08-30-2006, 12:03 PM

The end of this summer me, my dad and a bubble watcher were running out of Oregon Inlet and it got a bit rough so we turned around a few nm's outside of the inlet. I had been holding one since we put the boat in 9 nm's from the inlet, just waiting to get out there and anchor and then I was going to let it go, so turning around did not make me happy. NE wind meant we were getting the worst of it heading in. As soon as we cleared the inlet and went under the bridge, I just yanked it out of gear and started preparing for battle. My dad tried to convince me that here was not the place (just outside of the channel about 30 yards from the beach which is packed and sitting amongst probably 30 boats who were planning on doing near shore fishing but were forced to chase fish in the inlet due to the 15kt NE wind). He kept talking, I kept almost crapping my pants until I finally knew it was too late, so as I'm diving over the side...

I can't, with any dignity, finish this story but my dad calls me 'poop deck pappy' now (from popeye).

oh yeah and to make it better, the tide was ripping, so the trout were running downstream with all their strength and just as I'm turning to key to start the boat, you hear "Who the ***** shat in the water?!?" from a boat like 15 yards away.