Homestead Housing question?

[otter]

I will be moving from Ft. Pierce to Homestead in mid-July and am looking for a three bed two bath house with fenced yard to rent. There is not much in the Miami Herald. So if any of you Miami south slingers know a better way to find a place or are real-estate agents, or know a good real-estate agent. Clue a brother in!

[fernandezh]

Dude,
Since you are paying your taxes, I figured it was alright to use your tax dollars to do a little searching for you while I am at work. I found a 3 bedroom 1x bath unfurnished apartment that will be available around the 21st of July. Located in Homestead and at $900 a month. I am not sure about the fenced in yard part.

Call Jennifer at 305 245-6262

She said that she did have a 3 bedroom 2 bath but it had a jacuzzi and pool and ran at $2000 a month. That would be my perfect bachelor's pad but I am still able to get the pootie without the cool pad and BMW. Maybe once when I get into my 40's I'll have to worry about that.

Let me know how that works out.

Hector

[Spearchucker]

Hey Hector,

I am looking to refinance my house, how about doing some homework on taxpayers time and get me a good deal?

[fernandezh]

John,
Now that is a bit more complicated since I would need more information such as how much you would need to borrow, access to your credit history and personal information. With such information I would become overwhelmed by temptation and use this information in the name of evil. I would use your personal information to take credit cards out in your name and line of credit and I would limit them out on a flight to Vegas and live out my wildest fantasies of a dozen women covered in orange marmalade worshiping me at the bunny ranch. :D

Seriously,
I have been working on some very interesting projects lately.

1. Afghan National Army Training Team. Just recently I worked on a project that developed a 120 man mobile training team that just deployed to Afghanistan to rebuild a professional Afghan National Army that is modeled after the US Army except without the high tech weapons. Furthermore this army is going to be greased by American tax dollars therefore making them pro-american. From what I remember of their army, is that their loyalties always lie with who can pay them.

2. Iraqi Army Liaison Team. We are neck deep in this project at the moment. The Commanding General of Ft. Benning has just been tasked with rebuilding a professional Iraqi military and we are building a 500 man task force for this. Oddly enough, an old girlfriend I had in Washington, DC who worked for a think tank as an advisor has just gotten a job for this task force. Definite hottie but had a serious drinking problem.

Hector

[richhermes]

Why orange Marmalade??

[fernandezh]

Originally posted by richhermes
Why orange Marmalade??

Don't mess with the fantasy man. You can mess with a man's cars and his women but a man's aspirations for a better future is all his has. :D

[otter]

The reason I need a fenced-in-yard is because I have a very large and lazy ass black lab. Thats also why I need a house, because I whould like to be way south and in the more rural part of south Dade. The house can also be two bedroom, I really don't care. Just thought it would be easier to find a three bedroom, since most homes are built that way. Also about the tax dollars, I am sure that some of my tax $ has paid for worse(I am from Florida).

[junior]

If you are from Miami-Dade county, I can almost guarantee you that your tax dollars have been used for worse:D

[otter]

No, I am from the treasure coast, but don't let that fool you. We might not be as bad as Miami in the tax $ department, but I can asure you that we suck at it two. Ever see million$ of dollars for beach restoration being washed a-sea after a decent storm. You know why alot of money goes to waste for this type of chit, because thats where all the rich do me a favor Jeb type of people live. Tourist reasons my ass, there hasn't been real tourist flow past Orlando since that rat came about, and no I'm not about Jeb I'll have the baked bass with mercury sauce Bush either.

[blue gun]

Originally posted by fernandezh
Dude,
Since you are paying your taxes, I figured it was alright to use your tax dollars to do a little searching for you while I am at work. Hector

Hector, I need a girl about 3 feet tall, flat head, no teeth, no speak english.:D :D

[bgbill]

Hector,

I could use some 1st class pootie, see what you can find.

Thanks,

Bill

BTW I have all of ma teef's!

[fernandezh]

Sorry Guys, although I have the MOJO, I haven't had the opportunity to use it on any chicks in Jacksonville or Miami yet. But if you ever go to Georgia, or Tampa I could hook you up.


If you don't believe me just ask RichHermes, he has encountered one of them, and have seen the nude photos of her and that her friend took one evening in my presence. :D Rich, who is the Man? :D

[richhermes]

Hector has MOJO all over the place. That chick is hot!

[KJNDIVER]

Hector,

I could use some 1st class pootie, see what you can find.

Thanks,

Bill


Bill,

I dont think Hector would be the best source for that information. From what I hear, he can only help by reverse selection, that is he can only tell you which ones to avoid. Unless of course you've got a thing for crazy bitches too.

[fernandezh]

Trust me,
These are all top quality looking women. For example, the one Rich is familiar with is a 10 on a scale of 1 to 10. Great bod and face to go allong with it. All clinical nymphomaniacs as well. It is just that they all have some small personality issues like pyromania. If you can get past a woman wanting to ritualistically shave your pubes and burn them in the bathroom sink, you'll be ok. :D