Grauer
11-14-2002, 08:58 AM
I appologize for the length, but i felt compelled to share. :)
1) Leaving the dock is optional. Every return is mandatory.
2) If you turn the wheel towards shore, the houses get bigger. If you turn the wheel away from shore, they get smaller. That is, unless you keep turning the wheel and then they get bigger and smaller and bigger….
3) Boating isn't dangerous. Sinking is what's dangerous.
4) It is always better to be on shore wishing you were out there than being out there and wishing you were on shore.
5) The ONLY time you have too much fuel is when the boat is on fire.
6) The sail is just a big awning used by sailors to keep the Captain cool. When it rips to shreds, you can actually see the Captain sweat.
7) When in doubt, stay out to sea. No one has ever gone aground on a wave.
8) A ‘good' return to your slip is one you can walk away from. A ‘great' return is one after which you can use the boat again.
9) Learn from the mistakes of others. You won't live long enough to make them all by yourself.
10) You know you have hit the dock too hard if it takes all of your bilge pumps running at full power for you to step on the dock.
11) The probability of a boat's survival during docking is inversely proportional to the speed of arrival. High speed arrivals, small probability of survival and vice versa.
12) Never let the boat take you somewhere your brain didn't get to five minutes earlier.
13) Stay away from clouds. The silver lining everyone talks about might be a hailstorm. Reliable sources also report that lightning has been known to hide out in clouds.
14) Always try to keep the number of departures you make from your slip equal to the number of returns you've made.
15) There are three simple rules for making a smooth return to your slip. Unfortunately no one knows what they are.
16) Catamarans don't float; they're just so ugly the earth repels them.
17) If all you can see out of the cabin window is water that's going round and round, and all you can hear is commotion coming from the ****pit, things are not at all as they should be.
18) In the ongoing battle between objects made of fiberglass going tens of miles per hour and the shore going zero miles per hour, the shore has yet to lose.
19) Good judgment comes from experience. Unfortunately, the experience usually comes from bad judgment.
20) It is generally a good idea to keep the pointy end of the boat going forward as much as possible.
21) Keep looking around. There is always something you've missed.
22) Remember, buoyancy is not just a good idea, it's the law. And it's not subject to repeal.
:)
1) Leaving the dock is optional. Every return is mandatory.
2) If you turn the wheel towards shore, the houses get bigger. If you turn the wheel away from shore, they get smaller. That is, unless you keep turning the wheel and then they get bigger and smaller and bigger….
3) Boating isn't dangerous. Sinking is what's dangerous.
4) It is always better to be on shore wishing you were out there than being out there and wishing you were on shore.
5) The ONLY time you have too much fuel is when the boat is on fire.
6) The sail is just a big awning used by sailors to keep the Captain cool. When it rips to shreds, you can actually see the Captain sweat.
7) When in doubt, stay out to sea. No one has ever gone aground on a wave.
8) A ‘good' return to your slip is one you can walk away from. A ‘great' return is one after which you can use the boat again.
9) Learn from the mistakes of others. You won't live long enough to make them all by yourself.
10) You know you have hit the dock too hard if it takes all of your bilge pumps running at full power for you to step on the dock.
11) The probability of a boat's survival during docking is inversely proportional to the speed of arrival. High speed arrivals, small probability of survival and vice versa.
12) Never let the boat take you somewhere your brain didn't get to five minutes earlier.
13) Stay away from clouds. The silver lining everyone talks about might be a hailstorm. Reliable sources also report that lightning has been known to hide out in clouds.
14) Always try to keep the number of departures you make from your slip equal to the number of returns you've made.
15) There are three simple rules for making a smooth return to your slip. Unfortunately no one knows what they are.
16) Catamarans don't float; they're just so ugly the earth repels them.
17) If all you can see out of the cabin window is water that's going round and round, and all you can hear is commotion coming from the ****pit, things are not at all as they should be.
18) In the ongoing battle between objects made of fiberglass going tens of miles per hour and the shore going zero miles per hour, the shore has yet to lose.
19) Good judgment comes from experience. Unfortunately, the experience usually comes from bad judgment.
20) It is generally a good idea to keep the pointy end of the boat going forward as much as possible.
21) Keep looking around. There is always something you've missed.
22) Remember, buoyancy is not just a good idea, it's the law. And it's not subject to repeal.
:)