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View Full Version : Sailing on a ship of fools


PatMyGreen
03-08-2004, 04:27 PM
Well yesterday was one for the books. One of my better friends and I went out yesterday, he had never been on my boat before and never been spearfishing despite being an avid diver for years. Things start to go wrong when my houseguest (a spring breaker from UGA) asked where the lady's room was. When confronted with the "hang your ass off the back of the boat and go" solution versus the "jump in the water where the the sharks are waiting for you" solution she decided that a lady would hold it until we returned dockside. At that point we felt the tempurature drop a few degrees in her vacinity. Well we get to the first site we were going to dive on and although I could clearly make out the structure there were no fish visable on the bottom machine. So my friend abligingly hauls the anchor back aboard and we motor off to the next spot, only a mile away. At this point I'm pretty sure my pretty guest has single handedly reversed and damage due to global warming in the past several decades as she realizes we are now going to be out longer.
According to my handheld GPS we are approaching the back up spot and sure enough, the bridge span we are over is thicker with fish than the empire mica is with baracuda! Feeling slightly better about the situation I tell my friend to throw the anchor out again. Since we are in deeper waterhe has to uncleat the line to let out more rope than the previous spot and right as I was about to ask him to make sure the end was still secured I saw the end loop slide right through his slack fingers!
Well this was a signal to cut our losses to both of my passengers, but I was not even thinking about losing my anchor (even though I found an identical anchor in good shape last month, naturally not aboard) so I suit up and tell my friend Dave to get us back over the span and I'll go down and get the anchor line, pass it up and we're game on again. Amberjack and sheepshead were everywhere! The anchor line was siting right under me as I descended laying across the top of the span, what good fortune!
A few moments later Dave is motoring into position with a now seasick co-ed chumming off the back of the boat. I a suprising change of attitude Morgan says she will be fine and urges us to go ahead and dive anyway. So I remain in the water and Dave starts gearing up in a hurry, dare I say... a reckless hurry. I head back to the anchor line to wait for Dave and start heading down, gun now in hand, as soon as he hits the water. I proceeded down to the top of the span and cocked the first band into place when i noticed Dave clinging to the anchor line and kicking down for all he was worth, fighting his bouyancy. My first instinct was that he couldn't find the dump valve on the bc he was borrowing, but no .... he had neglected to don his weight belt, and with the shorty he was wearing over the top of his 3mm suit he was aboutas likely to make the bottom and stay there as Roseanne Barr. He signals me that he is going to return to the surface. I am a little dicouraged at this point and decide to shoot one fish return to the boat and call this day a wash. I slowly sink to the bottom inside the span and load my second band as soon as my fins brush the sand the band pops and my left hand goes completely numb from the smackage. As the numbness fades it is replaced with a pretty intense pain and I then decide today officially sucks. I notice then the the Anchor line ( right beside me) is tangled around a growth at the base of the span and as I reach down with my right and to unwrap it I hear a muffled zzzzzft as my back zipper goes all the way to my butt flooding my suit with 60 degree water. Hving just put a new zipper in the suit but not having gotten around to attaching a leash to the new one, I knew I was screwed and returned to the surface tail between my legs and I swear I heard at least one AJ say "amateur" as I passed.
My friend Dave got it worse as he surfaced just off the stern of the boat and got a fresh stream of urine all over his head. Yes, that was why she wanted us to still go diving. Poor Dave even a mask and hood doesn't change tha fact that you got pissed on.
This was the most half assed fishing experience to date and I sure if my Grandfather was alive he would disown me. At least I kept my anchor.
Remember Friends Don't Let Friends Dive Stupid.

Graham
03-08-2004, 04:35 PM
Bwaaaaahhaaaaaaaaaahaaaaaaa!!!!! HE GOT PISSED ON!!!!!! Hope he at least got a good view.

PatMyGreen
03-08-2004, 04:39 PM
Also welcome to the board Scott. a.k.a. Letrappes! glad you weren't there Sunday. But Ibet its better than the snow in Michigan right now.

Letrappes
03-08-2004, 06:36 PM
Sometimes it works out, other times you think of quitting school while nearly getting stuck in an ice storm upon returning from spring break.

bow tie klr
03-09-2004, 12:16 PM
That sux man. As you know there will always be better days of diving but nothing near as funny as the storys f the bad days. hahah

Better luck next time.

salter
03-09-2004, 11:08 PM
Great story, hate the luck. But glad no one got hurt.

biggsy
03-10-2004, 04:30 AM
That blows. Your buddies problem with the weight belt is the one reason I have had a weight integrated BC since I was certified. When I was doing my advanced training in the pool was the first time I put on a weight belt. I almost did not know what it was :)

Glad everyone made it back ok. Hope all the fingers are better!

biggsy

PatMyGreen
03-10-2004, 12:17 PM
nothing was hurt more than our pride. The digits are ok but have some interesting blood blisters in the. Fortuneately I learned to type one handed a long time ago.

biggsy
03-10-2004, 12:31 PM
Originally posted by PatMyGreen
Fortuneately I learned to type one handed a long time ago.

Hmmmm...wonder how that was, you know you could go blind doing that shit.

I learned from Spear One's seminar, never to hold a loaded gun on top of the bands. He said he cringed every time someone did that, and says that they must have never been popped before. I always held it like that until I heard that from Kevin, now I find myself doing it only about half the time. Hopefully I wont have to learn like you did and I break the habit before then.

biggsy

PatMyGreen
03-12-2004, 10:17 AM
Lesson learned, seems kinda common sense now but it never occurred to me before. I was just careful where the sharp end was pointed.

spear_friend
04-08-2004, 10:29 PM
that was a good story to read but glad no one didnt get hurt

PatMyGreen
04-10-2004, 03:47 PM
I would apreciate it if that " no one got hurt " was changed to no one need to go to the hospital, cuz my God do those bands pack a punch. Two of my finger nails are still black from that part of my learning curve. That is thru my akona kevlar (chainsaw proof Kmoose) gloves. Point taken though, I am glad it turned out to be an amuzing story instead of anything truly news/ Darwin awards worthy.
Also I may have "changed" or invented a "few" of the "facts" of this story. My friend Dave has found spearboard and would like for me to assure everyone that he didn't really get peed on and Morgan was in reality a very good sport about the whole day.

Letrappes
04-10-2004, 08:06 PM
Has Dave got a name on here yet?

PatMyGreen
04-11-2004, 04:07 PM
I doubt that he would participate here as he dives sledom and has never speared a fish.

Letrappes
04-11-2004, 05:02 PM
We'll have to change that this summer.