chicotrout
06-02-2004, 12:12 AM
I have been diving since 1989 or so receiving my PADI basic open water certification in Dayton, Ohio. That experience has haunted me ever since, resulting in a sinking feeling felt deep in my stomach prior to every single dive I've ever made since that fateful day. The apprehension usually goes away shortly after I enter the water, and then I'm good for the rest of the day...Until the next day, when I have to force myself into the water again, and where the cycle repeats itself again and again. The thing about it is that I grew up around the ocean and I had been comfortable in the water for my entire life, that is until my certification dives.
The dive conditions in the 25ffw quarry where terrible at best. It was a cold November day with water temperatures around the low 40's and visibility in the 1-2 ft range. Since this was our very first open water dive, and we all had poor bouyancy skills (newbies), and were all wearing 5-7mm wetsuits, we were weighted down with too much lead. This was-so we were told-to to make it easier for our groups to remained perched atop of the vans, which we were using as platforms to complete our underwater exercises.
The first dive went off without a hitch. During the second dive, we found ourselves finishing the exercises early so our DiveMaster-in training-decided to show us the way to a bus which was located about 75 yds away. She asked for an air pressure check prior to departing, and all three of us (basic open water students) had anywhere between 1900-2200psi left in our 80cuft J-valve tanks. After the checks we left in tow since the vis was so bad that couldn't even see your own hand if you waved it in front of you. After trying in vain to locate the bus for about 10 minutes or so, our DiveMaster-in training- asked for another air check...1000...1300...500psi. She immediately asked us to surface, so we did.
Here is where everything got jacked. Our DiveMaster decided we would go back since one of our guys was very low on air and the vis was so bad. We were only about 50 yds away from the docks, and instead of swimming back on the surface, she told us to go back down, at which point we would gather and then proceed back under water. Last time I saw Randy alive he was purging his BCD and sinking at Mach speed along with the rest of us. When we slammed to the bottom, there were clouds of muk expolding around me where each person had managed to land. Visibility quickly turned to...dark. I felt the person to my left grabbing at my hand as I was trying to grab at the puff of silt to my right, where Randy should have been. Within seconds I felt the water move around me and the water was clouded even further with more silt. What we didn't know at the time was that Randy had freaked out because he could no longer breath. He shot up to the surface, busted both of his lungs, had a heart atack, and suffered an embolism...never had a chance.
Fire rescue found him later after dredging the quarry for three hours or so. His regulator was out of his mouth, his mask was still on his face and had filled with blood, and his J valve was still closed. The gauge read 500 psi. Because of the tradgedy, the second day of certification was postponed for about two months. The second day of certification found us in conditions that were even worse. Although we were diving a much cleaner quarry, it was in Northern Ohio near Toledo with water temps in the mid 30's, and this time with ill fitting rental equipment. I don't know what I was thinking, other than I really wanted to get through my certification because I knew that if I did not go through with it, I would probably never set foot in the water again. I was still a little shaken from before, but I figured it would be something I would eventually overcome.
That last day also saw it's share of blunders and miscalculations from the from the part instructors. I don't think they had gotten over what had happened either, but thankfully we all walked away...and we were certified.
I tried diving 3 or 4 times with one of my friends within the next several months. We were hardcore, suffereing splitting headaches from the cold with damn near 0 visibility... just to say that we did it I guess. But then I started to get a sinking feeling, a feeling of apprehension, a fear of the unknown, a feeling that I still get it to this day. I thought that further training would get me over the hump, so that year I got my advanced open water, rescue diver, and a handful of other specialties as well, but to no avail. Since then I've managed to dive all over the world, and would never give it up, but the older I get the tougher it gets to face. I know other people get that same feeling when they dive, but is it always like that, and is there anything that I can do to stop it or at the very least to ease it up? I know there is a lot of experience on this board, and I would really appreciate any input.
I've always considered myself a tough person, and admitting this fear to myself, let alone to others has not been an easy thing.
Thanx for your honest input.
The dive conditions in the 25ffw quarry where terrible at best. It was a cold November day with water temperatures around the low 40's and visibility in the 1-2 ft range. Since this was our very first open water dive, and we all had poor bouyancy skills (newbies), and were all wearing 5-7mm wetsuits, we were weighted down with too much lead. This was-so we were told-to to make it easier for our groups to remained perched atop of the vans, which we were using as platforms to complete our underwater exercises.
The first dive went off without a hitch. During the second dive, we found ourselves finishing the exercises early so our DiveMaster-in training-decided to show us the way to a bus which was located about 75 yds away. She asked for an air pressure check prior to departing, and all three of us (basic open water students) had anywhere between 1900-2200psi left in our 80cuft J-valve tanks. After the checks we left in tow since the vis was so bad that couldn't even see your own hand if you waved it in front of you. After trying in vain to locate the bus for about 10 minutes or so, our DiveMaster-in training- asked for another air check...1000...1300...500psi. She immediately asked us to surface, so we did.
Here is where everything got jacked. Our DiveMaster decided we would go back since one of our guys was very low on air and the vis was so bad. We were only about 50 yds away from the docks, and instead of swimming back on the surface, she told us to go back down, at which point we would gather and then proceed back under water. Last time I saw Randy alive he was purging his BCD and sinking at Mach speed along with the rest of us. When we slammed to the bottom, there were clouds of muk expolding around me where each person had managed to land. Visibility quickly turned to...dark. I felt the person to my left grabbing at my hand as I was trying to grab at the puff of silt to my right, where Randy should have been. Within seconds I felt the water move around me and the water was clouded even further with more silt. What we didn't know at the time was that Randy had freaked out because he could no longer breath. He shot up to the surface, busted both of his lungs, had a heart atack, and suffered an embolism...never had a chance.
Fire rescue found him later after dredging the quarry for three hours or so. His regulator was out of his mouth, his mask was still on his face and had filled with blood, and his J valve was still closed. The gauge read 500 psi. Because of the tradgedy, the second day of certification was postponed for about two months. The second day of certification found us in conditions that were even worse. Although we were diving a much cleaner quarry, it was in Northern Ohio near Toledo with water temps in the mid 30's, and this time with ill fitting rental equipment. I don't know what I was thinking, other than I really wanted to get through my certification because I knew that if I did not go through with it, I would probably never set foot in the water again. I was still a little shaken from before, but I figured it would be something I would eventually overcome.
That last day also saw it's share of blunders and miscalculations from the from the part instructors. I don't think they had gotten over what had happened either, but thankfully we all walked away...and we were certified.
I tried diving 3 or 4 times with one of my friends within the next several months. We were hardcore, suffereing splitting headaches from the cold with damn near 0 visibility... just to say that we did it I guess. But then I started to get a sinking feeling, a feeling of apprehension, a fear of the unknown, a feeling that I still get it to this day. I thought that further training would get me over the hump, so that year I got my advanced open water, rescue diver, and a handful of other specialties as well, but to no avail. Since then I've managed to dive all over the world, and would never give it up, but the older I get the tougher it gets to face. I know other people get that same feeling when they dive, but is it always like that, and is there anything that I can do to stop it or at the very least to ease it up? I know there is a lot of experience on this board, and I would really appreciate any input.
I've always considered myself a tough person, and admitting this fear to myself, let alone to others has not been an easy thing.
Thanx for your honest input.