Always a good time at the boat ramp

[kwtony]

Let me first start off by saying, never under estimate the power of a quick boat launch and retrieval. Sitting waiting while idiots try and drive their boat almost makes me loose faith in humanity. Husbands yelling at their wives, kids screaming. People not knowing what the hell is going on makes my blood boil. It's also very fun to watch, sorta like people watching on duval street.

I was at dolphin marina on ramrod key with some jet skis a week ago. Waiting in line for the ramp. I watch a kid with his pole spear trying to shoot fish off the dock. I say to him " you are going to ruin your nice sea stinger tip if you keep shooting bait fish in the rocks like that" ....leaving out the obvious part about how he's not supposed to even be doing that, or the fact there was an Fwc boat tied up next to him.. Kids says nothing, sits down, Low and behold, the dad comes walking up screamin ,yellin, hootin and hollerin. I thought he was doing the right thing and getting on his sons case but instead tried to start yelling at me.

"listen up mother ****er, don't you dare tell my kid what he can and can't do, How about I come over there and show you who's boss"....
I immediately start laughing in his face. Told him his son was an idiot and if he was too stupid to understand and missinterperate what i said once there was no sence in repeating it to an even more ignorant father. Still huffing and puffing I tell him that he needs learn to dock his boat and doesn't deserve what he has and tell him to hurry up....yadda yadda yadda. My driver sat in the car laughing her ass off so much she was crying. At that point even his own wife was even his wife was laughing at him...

Post your favorite boat ramp horror stories. I'd love to hear about the other idiots around the nation ..

[Partyball]

It is always comical to do people watching at the boat ramps. You always see something there that makes you go "WTF?!?"

[squeaks]

My cousin and I were at the boat ramp in duck key with some guy trying to get his boat off his trailer. We tried helping him but he said he could do it (an older gentleman with pride issues). Another drunk came haulin ass into the boat ramp, pullin huge wake in an obvious no wake zone. and started yellin at the older man. tellin him he needed to hurry up, calling him "grandpa". We could tell he had been drinking. Anyway my uncle was wearing an old pair of flip flops, he took one off and chucked it at the guy about 40ft away. hit the guy square in the face. the guy looked like he ran into a sliding glass door. he immdiately spun his boat around and roared off out of the boat ramp. probably one of the funniest things ive seen in a long time. the weirdest part is we never saw the drunks trailer? it was just him, in his boat.. alone. some people are just stupid no matter how many years of boating "experience" they have

[TheU1991]

not that sweet of a story, but some dummy LAUNCHED their boat into the water at haulover this weekend. the boat was thrown with way too much speed off the trailer so i jumped over to the side of the ramp and slowed the boat down with my feet. the owner of the boat was busy trying to slow the boat down with a yarn-like piece of rope that looked like it could have snapped under a pound of pressure. i was able to slow the boat down enough that there wasn't any damage to the boat... if i hadn't have slowed it down the guy would probably have needed a new motor, patchwork done to fix the hole in his boat from ramming into the walls of the dock, and we would have had a nice big dent in one of the wooden columns that hold the dock up.

[squeaks]

wooden column = "pile-on" just so you know brutha

[TheU1991]

my bad.... lol

[kwtony]

There is a HUGE difference between a boater and a mariner. Luckally my father taught me at a very young age the difference.



Keep em coming guys, these are great. Learning something new every day!!

[squeaks]

Originally Posted by TheU1991

my bad.... lol

no man, just helpin ya out, i called it wooden column for a while, then my grandad corrected me haha

[TheU1991]

Originally Posted by squeaks

no man, just helpin ya out, i called it wooden column for a while, then my grandad corrected me haha

[SPEARSnBEERS]

Oh man... How many do you want to hear? Anyone who has ever launched a boat in Pickwick lake will have several stories similar to these (see fat, drunk rednecks who have much more experience drinking beer than unloading/operating/loading a boat):

This Memorial day, watched a guy's wife drive a cigarette boat on top of their Suburban. The guy got out and gave her a "WTF look", pulled the boat off to re load and the winch arm had put a four foot hole in the hull. They got the boat trailer'd and drove off like nothing had happened..

Last year, on the same day, a guy ran his pontoon boat up against his truck tailgate and then proceeded to blame it on his driver (I assume it was his son) for not pulling far enough into the water... Another guy drove his old bass boat directly into the bed of his truck and busted the back glass #WINNING

At the same lake, several years ago, I had a stranger ask me to back his trailer in since he was "new to the whole boat thing" and had seen me backing our trailer down. I happily obliged and backed it straight down for him.. Asked him if he wanted me to pull him out and he said no thanks. Ramp wasn't crowded, so he was going to unload first.. A few minutes later, the guy drove up to the trailer lot and cussed me out because I "backed his truck in at too steep of an angle and it made his prop drag"... I would have told him that he was an idiot and needed to trim his motor up all the way, but I figured I'd let him learn the hard way by running over the extra high speed bump on the way out of the park since he wanted to be an @ss. We followed behind him and, sure enough, it hit hard.

[Diablo Loco]

When I was a kid, I remember an incident at the dock at one our local lakes. This family was out in their speed boat, the kind that has the huge blowers and exhaust and goes like 70-80 mph. When my dad and I were launching our boat, they were coming in and the husband was bringing the trailer down, with the wife in the boat and kids on the dock. Once the trailer was in the water, the husband gets out and tells her to ease it up on the trailer. He is at the front of the trailer, ready to grab the the front of the boat and help guide it into place.

Well, she gives it a try and they find that the trailer is not in the water enough. So, he tells he to back it up a little and gun it. She backs it up a little and guns it.......... The husband barely jumps out of the way in time, as the boat goes up onto the trailer........and into the back of the truck, on through into the cab.

My dad and I ran to help out and make sure everyone was ok. Dad was fine and the wife had a few bumps and bruises, but she was fine also otherwise. Unfortunately, the boat was totaled, with a huge gash in the bottom and the nose destroyed. And as you might have guessed, the bed and cab of the truck was destroyed.

After we made sure no one was injured, my dad and I launched our boat and took off to catch some fish (h&l).

[squeaks]

Wow, i cant believe i forgot this one. Reading yours, diablo reminded me actually. I was at seminole boat ramp in clearwater Fl at around 7 at night. my family and i had just got the boat out of the water and i was fileting fish by the sea wall when i started hearing really loud yelling, louder than normal at a boat ramp so i turned around, just in time to see a guy in his truck sliding backwards down the ramp after just a couple second his entire cab was flooded and his truck (and trailer) was at the bottom of the ramp. only the very top of the cab was above water. the guy climbs out of the truck and onto his cab and starts screaming in spanish. well a few minutes later another truck tried pull him out but the rope they used snapped and the truck sank all the way to the bottom, top of the cab and all. the boat was floating next to the dock and the firetruck was poulling in just as i finished fileting.

[kwtony]

Ahaha that reminds me of this guy
YouTube - How Not to Park Your Jet Ski

[squeaks]

Originally Posted by kwtony

Ahaha that reminds me of this guy
YouTube - How Not to Park Your Jet Ski

[Waiting2Exhale]

Originally Posted by squeaks

Wow, i cant believe i forgot this one. Reading yours, diablo reminded me actually. I was at seminole boat ramp in clearwater Fl at around 7 at night. my family and i had just got the boat out of the water and i was fileting fish by the sea wall when i started hearing really loud yelling, louder than normal at a boat ramp so i turned around, just in time to see a guy in his truck sliding backwards down the ramp after just a couple second his entire cab was flooded and his truck (and trailer) was at the bottom of the ramp. only the very top of the cab was above water. the guy climbs out of the truck and onto his cab and starts screaming in spanish. well a few minutes later another truck tried pull him out but the rope they used snapped and the truck sank all the way to the bottom, top of the cab and all. the boat was floating next to the dock and the firetruck was poulling in just as i finished fileting.

Happened to my buddy....Brand new 2007 Tahoe, decked out, but his was due to algae(low tide) on the ramp and he couldnt even get the truck to stop. Flooded it out and then he dried it and sent me the craigslist posting. "New 2007 Tahoe, slight water damage" I laughed my ass off!!!


My favorite happened to an employee of mine. He was at the ramp when a guy comes up, engine WOT but only goin 10MPH. He asked the guy whats wrong with his boat and the other guy told him he didnt know, it was the first boat he ever owned. So my employee, Jim, got in with him and they made a loop around. They get back to the ramp and Jim is scratchin his head when he realizes there is a line stretched taught from the bow. He thought this dumbass has done ran over his bow line. Thats when Jim leans over the bow and sees the trailer still attached to the bottom of the boat

by far my favorite

Good thread Tony