Post your Funniest Tale of Seasickness/Gunnel-Hunching

[Dive4Blood]

Let's face it, guys are sick. There is no greater delight than watching your good buddy that you enjoy razzing and being razzed by, gripping the rail in 4'-6' seas having full pressure washer torrrents of "liquid laughter" emanating from every orifice above the waist. Fortunately in my 35 years of life, I have only been able to provide such amusement to my friends 3 times. Another cause for male-skewing humor is the subject of dropping a deuce on the high seas. All but the nicest sportfishers have adequate facilities. Combine that with the early departures our sport demands preventing divers from their regularily scheduled morning constitutionals on terra firma, and you have a recipe for mass hilarity. Here's a couple anecdotes among thousands I have to get the wheels spinning.

Seasickness- Dateline midwinter 2000 on the JR2 when a cold front rips through the MG mid trip . Capt Gene, normally a jovial and talkative fellow grows ever so silent after our traditional MG meal of Jolly Dogs, baked beans, and coleslaw. Suddenly he stands up and yells "green, coming through!" at the top of his lungs. Imagine a man the size of NFL offensive lineman running through a crowded cabin, and onto the deck in seas that make the boat feel like you're in a washing machine on spin cycle. I didn't know a man could have that much inside him. To this day "green coming through!" is the code phrase for seasick on the JR2. We love you, Gene!

Gunnel Hunching- Dateline 1996, a local trip on a center console out of Tarpon Springs with a couple guys from the Suncoast Seals. After a couple dives, one guy starts getting the urge to snap off some logs since he hammered some extra hot Hooters wings, and pitchers of Bud the night before. With no facilities even remotely available, it's neoprene around the ankles, and ass over the rail for a gunnel hunch. Now what proceeded was no mere gunnel hunch, but a backwoods Georgia, knock a buzzard off a gut wagon, hull spackling, tactical nuclear sphincter-bomb replete with powerhead like explosions emanating from my friend's sub-anal regions. After the ordeal was over we moved a mile north and marked a ledge where I and the other guy left the huncher topside to recoop. We each completed a successful dive, and came across each other on the jug line for the safety stop. After about a minute, my friend began wildly gesticulating towards the surface, and lo and behold above of us was a massive school of "finless brown trout" floating on the surface! The huncher friend topside subsequently swore up and down that this was absolutely not the end product of a second hunching. How this "intestinal driftwood" could have moved one nautical mile in less than an hour, and intersected our path a second time is yet again another unexplained mystery of the sea.

Let's hear them guys. A little levity to break up the negative vibes.

ROTFLMAO!! I can't even begin to touch that masterpiece of gastronomical distress! We did have a Tortugas trip abbreviated because an old Itialian dude was so seasick, he DID actually turn green. I thought he was croaking before my eyes!

[Reef Raider]

Some funny ****ing shit dude you really need to start a book.......

[blue gun]

I got one. True story. me and 2 buddys went to barbados for 2 weeks to go surfing. we got there late at night found a cab bought a case of beer and started towards the far side of the island. 2 hrs later we found our shack ($175.00 for 2 weeks) on the beach. we were shit faced drinking rum on the plane and only eating some dried rat SHIT they served on then flight. After being there a few hrs we heard a knock at the door and there was this bob marley looking guy at the door with 3 coconuts. "I'v brought fresh coconuts for you man, only 2 dollars" Well my buddy snatched up on that deal and proceded to eat those nuts. chomp, chomp chomp. Well the next morning I awoke with a bead of sweat on my nose and about 16 house flies all over me. We had no water no food no beer. not shit. we had not seen where we were in the light and the night before there was no moon and no lights. all of a sudden i hear something sounded like this. Baaaaaoughoughghghg....tatatat......splattt...baaa aaaaaa. I said shit and got the video camera. look out my room window and I can see my buddy puking his brains out of the next window. i started shooting like oliver stone. then i notice through the view finder that the puke is going on top of a small tin roof and spilling on to the sidewalk. and as i pan down there are 3 goats just tearing that shit up. ones going baaaaaa baaaaaaaaaaaaa chomp chomp chomp lick lick lick........... So what i was hearing was the actual act of puking, hitting the tin roof, hitting the concrete and the goats having breakfast. and to top it off i focused a little and in the back ground was a pile of at least 350 coconuts leaning up against our shack. That bob marley guy sold us our own coconuts..

WELCOME TO BARBADOS

[mad dog bite]

My best gunnel-hunch story was this past week on the JR2 I got up about 6 am to take a dump and spare my fellow steel slingers the unpleasant site of me hanging it over the side.While I was out there I figured I might as well throw a line in,so I put out a sardine on wire 15 feet from the boat I hook up to a 18-20 lb king get him in and immediatly do it again on a 20-22 lb king D4B hears the commotion gaffs mine and hooks up to another king and he's off to the bow.I put another sardine out 15 feet an AJ about 30 lbs slams it and im on his ass hard,over the rail in the pail done.I slip another sardine out and freeline it about 80-90 feet and bang a 9 lb mango so I get him in and figure the mango bite is on so I send a kingfish belly strip down and 30 seconds later Im hooked up to a 15 lb Gag over the rail in the pail.Sweating like a bastard I head back to the rack for a snooze before we really get going 90 pounds of fish in 50 minutes you gotta love the middle grounds and the JR2.IT WAS DEFINITLY A MAD DOG BITE

[richhermes]

That is plain ass gross, blue gun!

That reminds me of this time I was on the Gigabite, I was on the flybridge and got seasick.
Picture G-queef playing the part of the goat.

[Steel Shootin']

Funny stuff. Men find "shit humor" funny, and women can't understand it. For example, I have three sons, and we watched Austin Power's 2 a bunch of times, and which line was the most funny in the movie: "First things first. Where's your shitter. I've got a turtle head poking out." We'd laugh about that, saying it around the house in the voice of Fat Bastard, leaving my wife to only shake her head at our perceived stupidity.

[johnhermes]

Scott,

You ought to be able to write a damn book on seasickness!!

[Steel Shootin']

Originally posted by johnhermes
Scott,

You ought to be able to write a damn book on seasickness!!

I'm not saying anything. What the hell would I know about seasickness?

(Those were some big ass seas. Give a brother a break! Besides, I wouldn't have had all those Hooters wings and beer had I known I was in for an ass-kicking!)

[inletsurf]

Has anyone had it so bad that they were puking and hanging ass over the gunnel because of some shitty well liquor the night before? Talk about confusion....

Classic story blue gun...

[richhermes]

Let's not get into personal ailments John. (wink, wink)

[Reef Raider]

This was about 20 yrs ago we where in key west . Went out to do some free diving on a party boat and there was these real prepy people (who knows it could have been the G-cunt)that acted like they were to good for anyone and we had these hindo people with thier 1 daughter. The boat was giving free drinks to every one and this little hindo girl was acting like she would never get to drink cola the rest of her life who knows maybe she never had it before in her life . but anyway I'am sitting there watching her drink this shit down like a fish . After a while the wind picks up it gets bumpy we are heading back in and I look at the girl and she is green and I mean GREEN I tell my wife we have to move right now to the bow and no sooner do we set foot on the bow then I turn to see this galutin little bitch open her mouth and shoot a gallon of cola all over the prepy people. We where out of fresh water they had to rinse off with raw water I 'am not sure what she ate that day but the prepy people sure smelled bad after that!!!!!!

[f94gator]

"Green, coming through" ?

Wow, I think that saying's going to stick! I love it!

[dlock]

green comin' thr..ahhhg

[dlock]

something I learned a long time ago is the best cure for someone that is seasick is to get them in the water. My 10 year old daughter sometimes gets a little green when the waves kick up and we bail over the side and swim around and within 5 /10 minutes she is doing cannonballs off the back of my boat and then is ready to start fishin' again. I've suggested it to a few people that I've been around who got sick while out in the boat and at first they look at you like you're nuts but once they are in the water they will thank you for sure!!!!