Dangers of spearfishing.On LAND!

[chasintail]

Thought I would share my horrific tale of woe on equipment rigging.
Got an order from my favorite dive store (FL Freedivers)consisting of multiple shafts and bulk band material.Eagerly I head to the shed to start rigging.Regardless of my attemps I could not get the damn shafts out of the tube.In my infinite wisdom I rasied the tube above my head and look into it to see what the the shafts where hung up on.Well its turns out nothing was holding them.The shafts slid out of the as one massive taped together shaft.They slammed into my forehead causing me to stumble,trip over my wifes kayak,and do a half gainer into the garage door.Thank god it wasn't the pointed ends.After few minutes of saying things (I can't repeat here) about Mike's packaging,and some first aid and asprin, I was back at it.
On to tying up new bands.I made several new bands and tested each one as I normally do.I put the band around my foot and pull the wishbone to make sure the knots hold.In the middle of making a band my wife brings me the phone,ask me WTF happened to my head and why the garage door was mangled.I don't anwser and take the phone.Its was rigdva on the other end so we bullshited a little while.After I hung up I went inside and explained that her damn kayak almost killed and to make sure she puts it in it place instead of leaving in the middle of the floor.And made her feel like my injury was her fault.
Back to rigging.I picked the band I thought I had finished before the phone call.In my superior intelligence I put the wish bone on my foot and stretch the band.The cinch not was not quite cinched.The wishbone pulled loose and the fully stretched band exploded with the force of a lion tamers whip.The only thing there to absorb the stored energy was my left nut.
In that terrible second or two where you know pain is coming I feared the worst.As if on que the most horrid pain griped my entire body as I fell to the floor.I lay there sobing in the fetal position like a regretfull teenage girl on prom night.Tears streaming down my cheeks onto the dirty concrete floor.A horrible taste was welling up.I grabbed the nearest thing I could(the fu*kin kayak) and violently hurled repeatly into the seat.After 30 mins or so I was able to recover, down 10 beers and clean up the crime scene.
For gods sake be carefull out there.

[deadend]

Yeah, and testing out 3/4" rubber gives the same results and loose teeth

[WreckDiver]

Nick, sorry about the pain part BUT damn that was funny as hell. The only thing better than that would have been VIDEO - please get a camera

[HeadHunter]

Heres another similar story...

Maybe 10 years or so ago, I obtained some 3/4 band material. Up until that time, we had always used the commom 5/8 rubber. When I saw an ad for this 3/4 stuff, I knew I had to have it. ( I ended up not liking the stuff and never bought it again, but thats another story)

Kenny(Kmoose) and I were out in my garage one hot summer night and were wrapping up getting everything together for a dive trip the following day. I was getting other things done and Kenny was making our first 3/4 "Super" band.

He put a lot of thought into that first band. Really did a nice job. I was impressed. And then things started an ugly downhill spiral. He looped the band around his size 13 moose foot and leaned over as he pulled/stretched it to it's farthest possible point. He had both of his bigazz arms pulling as hard as he could...really testing out the new band. And then it happened, the band slipped off his foot, accelerated towards his bare sweaty chest at warp factor 5 and hit like a 200 LB Bullwhip..KEEEERACK......AAARRRGGGHHHHH!!!! The sound was unforgetable.

The Moose took a header onto a 150QT cooler and did a headless turtle imitation..all 4 legs going in circles....slobber flying everywhere. I slid down my workbench to a sitting position on the floor, laughing so hard I couldn't breathe.

I swear, that band left blisters 6 inches long and 3/4 inches high. I think it might have killed a normal human being. I'm laughing right now just recalling it! I think it still bothers him on cold windy days.

Glad it didn't hit him where yours hit you Nick.....

[Wayward Son]

Nick, when you were growing up, was you nickname "Junebug"?

[Nikki]

LMAO - Thanks for those mental images - those are great stories!

[Freedro]

That is absolutely the funniest damned thing I have ever read on this board! Both of those stories had me rolling.

[Speargun]

OH MY DAMN!!!!!
That's some funny stuff right there!!!
I haven't laughed so hard since I read the "Help! My anus is on fire!" thread.

[mthomas]

Sorry for your pain Nick but that was some funny stuff. Did you find a way to blame your wife for your nuts hurting? Just told my wife your story, she's laughing real hard.

Mike

[WESTBURY]

That was some funny shit!!

[jfjf]

Sorry to hear you got hurt. I always test my bands by grabbing them just an inch or so away from the cable wishbones and then pulling both ends away from each other. I don't think you can really get hurt this way, since you are only stretch a couple inches of the band.

[chasintail]

I have never seen my doctor crack a smile.As I explained the story and showed him my black and blue swollen nads I thought he was going to pass out from laughing.He wrote me a perscription for some pain meds,slaped me on the back and said "have some dope on me".Didn't charge me for the visit.

[Megabeast]

You really turned your nuts black and blue? I can only imagine the agony.

[KeiNine]

You're not alone. This is the 3rd time I've heard of this happening. They should put warning labels on those things!

[kmoose]

Looks like Nick and I share the same arch enemies in life.......Gravity and Kinetic energy. The stories are endless and I really don't understand why these things happen to me over and over again. All I know is that it is a rare day the fish I shoot bleed more than myself.
Jaizzen has already learned a few valuable lessons as far as proximity limit violations to my personal "accident prone" space. I hear about it every time I open a jar of jalapeno peppers.