Way too many things going on there! Why do you have a reel with clip connected if you are using a break away? Try and simplify things as much as possible. I would remove the reel and just have mono connected to shaft and then a double wrap with a small linear bungee that goes on the line release. You can then attach the float line to the bungee. I can't remember once having a hang up using this setup with some shots in heavy current and some shots even upside down. Forget the pigtails or even clips direct on the bungee as that can scratch up the gun and maybe is more tangle prone. Just use a heavy spectra line with a quick release knot which is easy to untie and retie. If you really need to use a clip, just have say a 50cm spectra line off the bungee to the side and then connect your clip there. This way it is away the sharp edges of the clips don't scratch up your gun.
You can see this in action with a clip here.